I Am Woman, Hear Me...Cry?

In preparation for Hillary Clinton's landslide win on election day, I choreographed "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy for my Zumba class. In searching for this feminist anthem on iTunes, I flashed back to my first rock concert (with my divorced-and-discovering-her-power mom), and then stumbled on this generation's version.

When you compare the lyrics to Jordin Sparks' (yes, highly dance-able) "empowering female anthem" from 2011 to those from the song that hit #1 on the Billboard pop charts in 1972, it's easy to see how today's women could have voted for an unapologetic misogynist.

Her lyrics, It ain't easy walkin' in stilettos/But somebody gotta do it; It's so rigorous
Doing what I do / Always on point / Always on cue; Don't need to talk / I speak with actions / I've perfected the laws of attraction / I'm the whole package plus satisfaction, bespeak the traps of perfection that today's young women find themselves in, always under someone's gaze, someone's judgment, with no deep self-connection. Trump's women—wives, daughters, hangers-on—are to a one shaped like Barbie, with hair-commercial locks, dresses over smooth bellies and teetering high heels. You get the feeling they'd better look like that or they're fired.

Reddy's lyrics "from the olden days" spoke of connection ("standing toe-to-toe") with other women, of wisdom, pain, and strength, and the incredible, generous heart of mothers and lovers, ready to "spread my loving arms across the land." Also, it politely acknowledged the impossible struggle women have with politics and with men, "With a long, long way to go/Until I make my brother understand." It is women seeing women from the inside.

Today, many women are crying. Our hardworking but unfuckable heroine was smeared by lying Russian trolls and a candidate who made bullying cool (for some), tapping into the vast community of voters who are suspicious of women (and anyone different from themselves).

 There will be another cry, coming very soon. And it will not be one of sadness. It will be a roar. 

St. John's ForNever...

Awww... I didn't win the contest to update the lyrics for my alma mater.  So, here's what the world missed...

(Click here to start soundtrack...)

here's the old version:

St. John’s forever; her fame shall never die.
Fight for her colors! We’ll raise them to the sky!
Each loyal son pledges you his heart and hand;
For her united, we as brothers stand.

here's my new version:
St. John’s forever! Your wisdom through us flows.
Bless your sons and daughters with knowledge that grows.
Johnnies eternally discussing love and law
For her united, we fight for ta kala! *

At convocation our odyssey begins
And with each page’s turning the mind of Man opens
The logos of freedom to seek reality.
Dialogues and elements our only rivalry.

As we continue our journey of the mind
Through discourses and amalgests, a greater truth we find.
Our nature strives toward beauty through sonnets, songs, and art:
The eidos of creation within the human heart.

Through fables, treatises, pensées, we feel the years fly by
Critiques, essays, principia our knowledge amplify
Contracts, novels, theories fill our precious days
Declarations, constitutions, operas, preludes, plays.

Speeches, fragments, poems, phenomenology;
Thoughts of great minds forming our own philosophy.
Past war and peace and quantum leaps, our epic journey ends,
And we become liberis, your books our cherished friends.

Now we have walked with giants, yet for all we’ve learned,
Endings are beginnings; for knowledge we still yearn.
Not content with laurels, the examined life’s our goal.
St. John’s eternal! The mater of my soul.

St. John’s forever! Your wisdom through us flows.
Bless your sons and daughters with knowledge that grows.
Johnnies eternally discussing love and law
For her united, we fight for ta kala! *

© 2012 Kristen Baumgardner Caven

*Alt: We read and waltz and play croquet and fight for ta kala!

Hymn to Asphaltia (Goddess of Parking & Traffic)

Press 'play' on both tracks at once... close your eyes and listen...  
When you're done, scroll down and click the cartoon.... 

1. Goddess of Parking and Traffic by and courtesy of David Garner

2. Hymn to Asphaltia read by Kristen Caven at Heart of the Muse, 11/4/10

I sing to thee, Asphaltia!

To thy hard and pulsing veins

ribbons of desire and direction that

connect our home driveways,

one to the other,

across this great and blessed land!

I sing thy praise, Asphaltia!

Goddess of Parking and Traffic,

before these, thy blessed servants,

devoted drivers of thy scenic roads!

I offer thee this sacrifice:

A mangled bike.

A twisted wheel.

For you, benevolent goddess of the streets,

there are not enough poems in my grateful soul

to express my delight

in your watchful eye.

I praise and thank thee tonight!

For the grip you gave the screeching tires when the driver saw the child.

For the clear streets that swiftly brought the ambulance.

For the green lights as I followed the sound, screaming in my car.

For the pavement you made soft where he landed.

(There were no broken bones or skin.)

Asphaltia, I praise thee!

Our devotion is our salvation:

To the zipper dance of merging manners;

To the air in the tires of your prayer-wheels;

To the tar we pour to patch the scars in your skin.

Our attention to your ever-blinking eyes of light.

There are not enough words in my ravaged soul

to thank you

for preserving

my beloved.

(Oh, and for that sweet parking spot you gave me tonight.)

-kristen caven 11/4/10

Completion Satisfaction!

Sold! Twenty-one books! Gave some away, signed them all too....

Put that to the tune of 21 Guns and you'll get an idea of how I feel right now. Rockin' Out! Open heart! White light! Camp high!

The final book sales count was the icing on the cake. The cake, and the nourishing meal that preceded it, was the completion of a year of dreaming and scheming. Tonight I launched my book to the audience I wrote it for, and by for I mean to read it and in their honor. Tonight I sat behind my table and listened to stories about an amazing moment in history, by the people who made it. Tonight it was not about me.

President Jan stood up and talked about how she came to put Mills back together after it had been torn by the drama of the strike. She led the SPAM chant—"Strong Women, Proud Women, All Women, Mills Women"—a joke I made twenty years ago when I saw the "Strong Women, Proud Women, Mills Women, All Women" slogan (but took a stand against it in my book). We watched the old documentary and everyone told stories that filled in some of the mysteries. Did you know Mills College is the ONLY women's college that decided to go co-ed and then reversed the decision? One woman told about her school back east, Wells, that decided to go co-ed. The students went on a six week strike, including a 30-day hunger strike and a fundraising campaign, all to no avail. They let men in, and three quarters of the students left. Mills is the only women's college that mustered all its forces to make and keep its commitment.

I stood up and spoke a little, about how when I arrived at the strike there was nothing I could do to help, just observe. I was too stunned to speak, but I found my voice through drawing. Tonight I finally made my contribution. By helping the alumnae and the student activities office organize this emotion-filled evening of conversation and memory—a book launch party about something much greater than my book.

All night long some guy from the LA Times -- yes, THAT L.A. Times -- kept taking my picture. (I'm sure everyone felt the same way.) I was too surprised to protest. I was just grateful all the stress had subsided, and my cold sore had healed just in time. But the part my heart loved best was seeing old friends who have grown twenty years older, and who have become more of who they are. Kind of like I have.

At the end of the event, the Director of Student Life took the mike and sang "We are gentle, angry people, who are singing, singing for our lives." I hummed along. Then she sang, "We are perfectly revolting people..." And then the rowdy war-heroines of 1990 started chanting: "Woman energy! Woman energy! Women in a jeep!"

I really didn't want the night to end. I ended up sitting in the parking lot under the stars, talking to an old pal and listening to the stories of a recent grad with a bitchin' mohawk who is just getting into Roller Derby. (Ah, that old familiar would-that-I-were-queer longing...). I thanked myself for coming out to California to finish my college career at Mills. You meet the most interesting people here. And maybe, if you're lucky, you become one.

Dr. Horrible now on DVD!

"With my freeze ray I will
find the time to find the words to
Tell you how
How you make
Make me feel
What’s the phrase?
Like a fool
Kinda sick
Special needs
Anyways
With my freeze ray I will stop the pain
It’s not a death ray or an ice beam
That’s all Johnny Snow"

Highly recommended.

Virtual Staged Reading

Didn't get to New York? That's okay, because I brought the show home with me. It's about 45 minutes long. It's really rough. It's not as good as the REWRITE will be. :) And it's not REALLY like being there since it's only 2" wide. But that all being said... you can certainly get a good taste of "our glorious beginning!" (And only slightly embarassing!)





Don't have 45 minutes? Check out the quickie visuals and 2 songs on the SMBPR Blog.

20 shows in 2 weeks

I'm just so excited for Michael right now, composer of my musical, who's seeing 20 shows in 2 weeks in New York City. What a lark! What a mind-boggling oddysey of theatrical displays! What a study! I'm waiting, meanwhile, to hear all the music from the second story. Via email--what a world!

Feeling very lucky to have found the right person. Crossing my fingers to keep meeting all the right people. (Sounds like we'll need a barbershop septet and a reed player who also does electric guitar...)

A Great Day for the Dimond! (and me!)

A memorable day about family and community.

Dave was the Emcee,
Kristen performed the opening act with members of Donald's class.

Nancy Peterson la Guitarrista!

Mr. Nichols performed "Oakland Roads," written by students.
Student performers included
Dagmawi, Simone, Larisa, Nomi, Kenny and Johnathan.

The store is gorgeous~food delicious & healthy~a turning point for our neighborhood.

Good job everyone! Congrats Joe & Diane Tam... and the whole neighborhood! Thanks to all who made it happen.

WHAT A HOOT!