FREE E-Book: Inside the Mills Revolution

"This cartoon journal won a first place prize in the 1990 Bay Guardian cartoon contest, catapulting its author into a glamorous international career"

Inside the Mills Revolution

The Mighty Foubavole

I once had an art car
A mighty Foubavole
When driving was for pleasure...
And art my only goal.



If you remember my art car and want to remember it some more,
check out my art car page!

Seasonal Segue

Last month I wrote about Lederhosen (and 350). Speaking of German words... it's time to segue into the next holiday! A year ago this time, my son was wandering around on Thanksgiving, quoting a cartoon of mine he'd found in a pile of rough drafts. Then he and a few awesome friends did a "dramatic cartoon reading" of it at my book launch. Here 'tis... Read more

Hymn to Asphaltia (Goddess of Parking & Traffic)

Press 'play' on both tracks at once... close your eyes and listen...  
When you're done, scroll down and click the cartoon.... 

1. Goddess of Parking and Traffic by and courtesy of David Garner

2. Hymn to Asphaltia read by Kristen Caven at Heart of the Muse, 11/4/10

I sing to thee, Asphaltia!

To thy hard and pulsing veins

ribbons of desire and direction that

connect our home driveways,

one to the other,

across this great and blessed land!

I sing thy praise, Asphaltia!

Goddess of Parking and Traffic,

before these, thy blessed servants,

devoted drivers of thy scenic roads!

I offer thee this sacrifice:

A mangled bike.

A twisted wheel.

For you, benevolent goddess of the streets,

there are not enough poems in my grateful soul

to express my delight

in your watchful eye.

I praise and thank thee tonight!

For the grip you gave the screeching tires when the driver saw the child.

For the clear streets that swiftly brought the ambulance.

For the green lights as I followed the sound, screaming in my car.

For the pavement you made soft where he landed.

(There were no broken bones or skin.)

Asphaltia, I praise thee!

Our devotion is our salvation:

To the zipper dance of merging manners;

To the air in the tires of your prayer-wheels;

To the tar we pour to patch the scars in your skin.

Our attention to your ever-blinking eyes of light.

There are not enough words in my ravaged soul

to thank you

for preserving

my beloved.

(Oh, and for that sweet parking spot you gave me tonight.)

-kristen caven 11/4/10

Barack's new nickname

Pumpkin Pie - a holiday superheroine

Meet Pumpkin Pie, partner of Jack-O-Lantern, who was dreamed up in the Mini-Maker Faire's Comics Class taught by The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay author Michael Chabon and Marvel Comics artist Nick Dragotta.

Jack is a master pumpkin carver and superhero who got his superpowers when he ate a radioactive GMO pumpkin seed.

Pumpkin Pie was a mathematician at Monsanto who ate one, too. It gave her a hyper-hormonal anxiety which she can only calm by baking. She hangs around Jack because she needs the pumpkin guts. She also has a tremendous throwing arm. In the picture you see her using calculus (Pi is her favorite number) to determine the best angles for throwing pie. She wears an oven-proof lycra suit printed with an apron pattern, and oven mitts, since the pies she throws are sometimes fresh out of the oven. She wishes she could stop baking and take a rest, but if she does the craziness (the evil side) takes over.

Yes, her headpiece is made of an aluminum pie plate. It's recyclable.

Planet of Slow Learners

I just sent my two Planet of Slow Learners cartoons in to an art show at my old alma mater. This one's about MEAT. (The other one is about Earth Day.) Sorry, it's kind of a crappy photo. The black & white version is in my book. In which I wonder: has anything changed in the last twenty years?

Earth Day Confessions

Eighteen years ago I wished Earth Day could actually be a holiday for the Earth. Today I felt both sad and satisfied that April 22nd now verges on that reality, and has at least become a mainstream day of awareness and reflection.

I started the day with the best intentions. I remembered to take a cup to fill with fair-trade coffee. I walked my son to school, rode my bike to pick him up (felt like a third-world family on the way home, with on the back rack trying not to get his shoelaces caught in the derailleur). I started dinner in the solar oven at 2pm.

A day without the TV gives a person lots of extra time to wonder about stuff. I wondered what Earth Day might be like in 20 more years. Or 200. Or 2000. Will organic become the kosher of the future? Will our descendants consider it an actual sin to flush the toilet for pee? Will wearing clothes made in other countries be a mitzvah of connection, or require atonement? Will a Blade Runner future come true, where it’s illegal to have a wallet made of real leather?

Forgive me Mother, for I have failed. I threw four plastic bags away today. I ran the electric vacuum for a long time (it’s also spring cleaning), and put two dustpans of dirt in the trash, not compost or outside. I had to use the car to drive Donald to piano lessons when we got halfway there on bikes and realized he’d forgotten his music. I let shade creep over the solar cooker and had to run the microwave for two minutes to finish cooking the cauliflower. I killed a few bugs.

It’s nice to know people care more now, and more people have the vocabulary to discuss the whims and plans of nature. It’s nice to have a conversation about conservation without revealing I'm way beyond granola (prefer müesli). But it’s scary that we are way beyond 350. It’s sad to see dead honeybees, more every week, on my stairs when I sweep. I wish people had taken Earth Day seriously 18 years ago. I hope it’s not too late. I have to believe every little bit helps.

Selling Peace Bonds

While preparing my Deco Diet lecture for the Art Deco Society (what a hoot! Now everyone knows how to make Larded Grouse!), I prepared a slide about Victory Gardens and rationing. I was moved by how hard Americans worked together to win WWII, for all its fiascos (have you seen Flags of our Fathers?). God, there are so many great ideas out there about Peace - I mean, we really know what it is now (You can even get a degree in Peace and Conflict Studies at many major universities), and it's something you have to work on, it's not just the absence of war.

So, digging up all these cool War Bonds posters, I thought, what about Peace Bonds? If we're serious about ending this war, and all wars, let's have a symbol of it. Let's get actresses to get out there and sell them. Let's make sure the money goes to things that really matter - like education and health care (health care being the #1 reason workers strike and create social strife) (they picked up our garbage today but workers are still locked out), for example. There is a movement afoot to create a lasting Department of Peace to balance out the influence of the Pentagon in our government.

I played with these images—aren't they fun? Click on any of them and you can go to my Peace Bonds page to see more—or to purchase Peace Bonds!